" Somewhere there's a small C program with a Bug in it. "
-Tom Murtagh

" ... just to be clunkily freudian about that... "
Chris Pye

" He's interesting in that He's the least developed character. "
Unknown, on Martin in the Return of Martin Guerre

" Is that a hand, or a strangely misplaced Genitalia? "

" In the English Department, I feel like if you're sleeping with one of them it's OK to sleep with the rest of them. "
-Hale

" And he galloped across the sea, because bulls can do that when they're divine. "
ARTH 216 Prof

" Is it still necrophilia if you revive the animal afterwords? "

" Sometimes I wish I could go to a college with lower standards. "--Rachel
" Like Harvard? "--Dan Burns

" Things existed before Techno songs, Johannes "
--Dan Burns

" Nothing Bad ever came of not liberating gasses. "
--Dan Burns

" It was one of the ways women could make a living... one of the only ways, besides prostitution and marriage, which were variations 0on the same thing. "
--Prof. Case

" How could I have office hours with all these students? I couldn't watch as much television. "
--Prof. Wood

" Historians like dates; dates make them feel comforatble. "
--Wood

" They were really quite pipsqueakish isolated City-States. "
--Wood, on early Greeks

" They were probably drunk... it's like the rugby team. "
--Wood, on hoplite warfare

" I know I would have been a little worried if I'd been in the middle of Germany, in the middle of a forest, and I set it on fire. "
--Wood, on Gladiator

" This is Page 48 if you have the Katherine Harrison slept with my father edition. "
--Rosenheim

" New York? Yeah, it's an outpost of Williams. "
--Rosenheim

" Jeffrey Dalmer, ADD Victim "
--Rosenheim

" We only have 26 letters... if we play with them long enough... "
--Rosenheim

" They liked a lot of bad shit.. come over to my office and I'll show you some. "
--Rosenheim

" Think of this as the original Reebok or Nike poem. "
--Rosenheim on Leaves of Grass

" Here's a much statelier Whitman, looking a little like Charlie Toomajian "
--Rosenheim

" You can't mold this into a perfectly linear arrangement without some violence to the poetry. "
--Rosenheim, on Leaves of Grass

" We'd better put the penis here; we're twelve lines in. "
--Rosenheim, on Leaves of Grass

" This looks like a blowjob, sort of... reaching the bears... the feet... it's an odd position. "
--Rosenheim, on Leaves of Grass

" He's the poet of rection... he likes things that drip or ooze... "
--Rosenheim, on Whitman

" We're not talking about Walt Whitman: Supermodel "
--Rosenheim

"There are homoerotic undertones throughout the poem."--Student
"No."--Rosenheim
"None at all?"--Student
"They're not undertones."--Rosenheim

" "